reinvention

I have been on power mode the last month. Just high octane, hustle hard, make shit happen mode. At the end of August, we had our hearts broken when we woke up and found out that our sweet little dog had passed away in the night, completely unexpectedly. I’d say that is one reason why things have been so quiet around here.

After we lost Morgan, we went away for the weekend. We got home to our empty apartment and started putting things away, trying to ignore the fact that a certain floppy eared, three-legged family member wasn’t snuffing around at our feet. As I often do when things are starting to look like they are spinning out of control, I flipped open my calendar and started to writing in what September had in store.

“Holy shit. My next day off is September 30th,” I said out loud.

September had barely even begun, we had a move on the books and I was heading out west for a week-long client trip.

So it has been go-go-go. I’m writing this in the back of an airport taxi, heading home from that client trip. One of my best friends is at our apartment, just in from Denmark. He is staying on an air mattress, in the middle of boxes my husband has been furiously packing all week.

The thing is, I wouldn’t change this. My mom can’t believe our schedule, how much we have shoe-horned into the month. But I have never felt so in my element. I think one factor is that I chose all of this. I created it all. The other thing is that every day, I feel so absolutely awestruck and grateful that I took a chance and it all worked out.

I was working out of my client’s office all week, thinking about what an interesting opportunity it was. Here, I was a totally new person. Which meant I had the opportunity to reinvent myself. I cast off all the stories that I didn’t want anymore. Let go of anything that wasn’t serving me, and just focused on low stress, high enjoyment and hard work.

My sister, husband and I were having dinner last week (honestly, it was charcuterie, which is almost a balanced meal), and both of them remarked that they have noticed how happy I am, how I have noticeably changed. And I feel it. I relish saying, “I started my own company.” Every time it comes out, I die of excitement.

So here is to the hustle, being okay with zero days off and to reinventing yourself. Reinvention can come with a total career change, or just deciding who you want to be every morning—how you want to show up, and what stories no longer are doing you any favours.

And here's to Morgan.